Stories of dogs and cats and other animals that live in our homes. Exactly how much are they caught up in everyday family dynamics? We answer this question and others.
Prologue.
Heather and her girlfriend lived with a cat named Sid. The girlfriend showed all sorts of affection toward Sid that she never showed toward Heather. And at some point, against her better judgment, Heather started to become jealous.
Act One. The Youth In Asia.
When a pet dies, to what degree can it be replaced by another? And to what degree can pets replace people in our lives? David Sedaris tells this story of cats and dogs and other animals.
Song: "A Dog Is a Man's Best Friend"
Act Two. If Cats Ran Hollywood.
What do cats want to see on television? Steve Malarky, creator of the world's best-selling home video for cats, tells all.
And—in the interest of equal time—a cashier who works at a chain store that sells pet products rants about the absurdity of the items she's ringing up every day: St. John's Wort for dogs, CDs for pets, spinach-flavored bones.
Song: "Serenade to a Poodle", Slim Gaillard
Act Three. Resurrection.
Writer Brady Udall with another story about what animals can take the place of, in our lives and in our homes—this one involving an armadillo.
This work of fiction originally appeared in the Autumn 1999 issue of Story magazine.
Song: "Gonna Buy Me a Dog", The Monkees
Sedaris, David. Me Talk Pretty One Day. Back Bay Books. New York, 2000.
"Due to their size, Great Danes generally don't live very long. There are cheeses with a longer shelf life. At the age of 12, gray bearded and teetering. Melina was a wonder of science. My father massaged her arthritic legs, carried her up the stairs, and lifted her in and out of bed. He treated her the way that men in movies treat their ailing wives, the way he might have treated my mother had she allowed such naked displays of helplessness and affection. Melina's era spanned the final dozen years of his married life. The dog had ridden in the family's last station wagon, attended my father's retirement party, and celebrated the elections of two Republican presidents. She grew weaker and lost her appetite, but against all advice, my father simply could not bear to let her go. The youth in Asia begged him to end her life. 'I can't,' he said. 'This is too hard for me.'"